“Hurt People, Hurt People”
Hurt and disappointment inflicted by others is an inevitable experience that we all must face at some point in our lives. Someone you trust, care about or maybe even love is going to let you down. You probably wondered why and what you did to deserve such treatment. These experiences, however, can potentially serve as lifelong lessons…if you let them. I have posted three common culprits.
The “Can’t Get Over the Past” Type People There are just people in the world who are bitter, plain and simple. Someone hurt them or mistreated them so they vow to not invest their own emotions in people anymore. This is a mistake because they are making the world pay for the ignorant actions of a single person…or maybe they’ve been hurt by more than one person–who knows? Of the millions of people in the world, you think they are all out to get you? It’s quite silly and I’m not trying to downplay or discredit any trauma anyone has experienced in their lives to make them feel that way. The mistreatment that they experienced could be as minor as a crush embarrassing them in front of their friends or as major being molested by someone they trusted as a child. Making someone else feel the hurt and pain that you once felt and that was inflicted by someone else is just cruel to me. Get therapy, get help, do what you have to do…otherwise you will never be able to have a healthy, functional relationship and you will just be continuing the cycle…
The “Get You Before They Get Got” Type People There are some people that have never been hurt but have this skewed logic that hurt is a part of all relationships so they decide they want to hurt other people first, before they are hurt themselves. (Tyler Perry’s character Madea gives a perfect example) This is just immaturity at its finest. No matter how hard you try, getting hurt is simply a part of life. Instead of trying to avoid it, embrace those learning experiences. The greatest and most fulfilling things in life require great risks! If you avoid taking those risks, you will never be able to reap those potential benefits and any hurt you experience along the way will only make you stronger for the undertaking of your next risk!
The “World Revolves Around Me” Type People There are some people who are selfish. They are only concerned with themselves and who or what they can use to further their own agenda. Their agenda could be popularity or fame, could be getting rich, could be presenting a certain false image of themselves, trying to assure themselves or others of their importance, etc… (note the superficiality of all those things) A lot of these things are ways they try to fill a void by trying to convince the world that there is no void. “He’s rich? He must have everything he could ever want!!” “He’s got all these girls after him? What a lucky man!!” Please do NOT be fooled!
People that intentionally hurt other people, have issues! It is them, not you! You walk away feeling a little hurt and disappointed and they walk away with the same issues that they came in with, unresolved and awaiting a repeat with the next person. They will never have a healthy and functional relationship…but you? Once you deal with your emotions properly, you are ready for that next risk equipped with more smarts. Hopefully, you will not have to make that particular mistake twice. If someone cannot see past themselves and their personal issues to realize how amazing you are, then that is their loss and their mistake!
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I totally understand where you are coming from. It is really unfortunate that these things have to happen, but these are learning experiences that help us grow as human beings, and they make us stronger. That is what we must take away from these situations. I’m not sure what you are going through, but keep your head up. Pray about it because God always works things out.
01.14.10 on 12:45 amIts unfortunate we go through those feelings but its life, God doesnt put you in situations he doesnt believe you can handle. He wants you to be better and learn from the hurt, confusing but it makes you a better person and possible help another along the way with the same pain. True statement ” No matter what you go through, no matter how bad your day must be .. life goes on the world doesnt stop for no one so get through it in faith of God”
01.14.10 on 2:11 amI agree 100% when people hurt others they are ONLY hurting themselves! One thing I live by is you NEVER know your OPPONENTS strength or weakness so be careful who you hurt! Some people may try to seek REVENGE & take things to the EXTREME. Its sad but its HUMANITY & a REALITY! GREAT blog
01.14.10 on 2:44 am[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Chad Whitaker and A, SeeFurtherThanIam. SeeFurtherThanIam said: "Hurt People, Hurt People" 3 Common Culprits… http://bit.ly/5h53tV [...]
01.14.10 on 10:39 amthat was really good made me think!
01.14.10 on 2:14 pmAgain, another great message. It is not easy dealing with pain and trusting people again. I am guilty of this myself. This year I want to face that fear and step out on faith. I have been through so much in my life and gotten help and now I got to deal with folks who won’t get the help they need! Ugh!!! That is what frustrates me. Pain is apart of life and it builds character for I know to well!
01.14.10 on 2:16 pmi feel u but i know i kno wi dont trust poeple. i have be hurt in da past one thing about i dont show it when u trust some people they will hurt u no doubt so just pray for me i will do da same for u
01.14.10 on 4:16 pmKnow this that it is hard not to be bitter when people set out to hurt you and rejoice in seeing you crumble; I am reaching out to all for encouragement right now and pray because everday that passes, I grow bitter; I vow not to hurt anyone because I am hurting, so I close myself off and cry..BK
01.14.10 on 8:09 pmThis is a great post. I know all three types of people. I’m guilty of all the three though. It’s hard for me to get over my past, & I know that hurts people…so I need to move on. It’s hard.
01.14.10 on 10:32 pmThis is a great post and all of it is soooo true.
01.14.10 on 10:44 pmthat is soooo true and deeper than i imagined you could get. I totally agree with you.
01.14.10 on 11:37 pmFirst of all, the title is ON POINT. I totally agree with every element of this blog. It’s pretty pathetic how much I can relate, I’ve been EVERY ONE of those people. But I’m not anymore. And when you’re out and look back on it you realize how much you were rotting. I lost so much in those stages and no one should have to be a victim to the nonsense that these character’s pull. But, it is a cruel world that we reside in. We must be the change …
What really helps is having your past stand in front you. You’ll realize how ineffective all of these methods are at that point. That brought reality to me and many others I know.
Word..I’m definitely feeling this blog.
and BTW good choice of picture. Danielle is working that pic and conveying the right message.
01.14.10 on 11:40 pmfirst one is def my brother he’s so mad at the world its crazy he even gives me hurtful remarks its sad cause i love my brother but we dont have any type of relationship because of his anger issues
01.15.10 on 6:21 amthe world needs to view this, this jus made me fall in love wit trey even more ha
01.15.10 on 11:34 amthis is crazy i stumbled upon this article because this is what i am going through now. i just was played like ish in a relationship really. this guy is a jerk and really i kept getting warnings but ignored them because i wanted to be together and i believed stuff he said bad idea. now i just feel worthless and like so hurt its taking me a long time to get over this like i hurt everyday and i said this the last time i put my heart in a situation. i dont want to get hurt again and he is so intentional he boasrs about the hurt he causes so i know particularly these guys out here are very good at acting like they care but they dont and i put a lot into this relationship so i feel like im done with these guys and the stupid games
01.15.10 on 9:48 pmI love this so much….& also alot of people judge before they get to know a person or ppl think they know someone because we have the “same group of friends”….ex: alot of ppl think im selfish b/c of what i have & i talk to certain ppl. reality is i dnt put up with nonsense & delete those ppl out of my life
01.16.10 on 12:56 amThe title is on point!!! I think everyone has been hurt and has been bitter at some point. In that bitterness, you might lose someone great or even lose yourself. People risk future happiness living in the past. I think that you aren’t as mad at the person that hurt you more than you are mad at yourself for letting it happen. Some people who are bitter, sometimes can’t help it and it hurts them just as much to be that way. Women need to understand, it’s not always your fault and there is nothing you can do to make them stay. All 2 often women fear losing the man they love, when in actuality they should fear losing themselves 4 love. Give it ur best & if it’s not enough, let it go
01.16.10 on 5:57 pmWow, you really made me think about the way I’ve been handling situations, def made me think and want to change the way I unconsciously treat my partner, thankyou.
01.18.10 on 7:06 amje suis totalement d’accord avec toi au sujet du 3ème exemple, je n’arrive pas à comprendre comment et certaines personnes peuvent être aussi égoîste en amour au point de mettre l’argent ou ne s’interessent uniquement qu’au physique des gens tout ça pour arriver à leurs fins sans même se préoccuper du mal qu’ils ont fait autour d’eux… je suis très contente que des personnes comme toi abordent des sujets aussi sensible et sentimentaux!!!!
01.19.10 on 11:32 ami must agree when people do things to hurt themselves it hurts the people who care about them even more.
01.19.10 on 6:16 pmi understand what your are saying… but how would you feel. knowing that you Trey Songz. was used to hurt someone. its not like u did it directly cause u dont even know who i am. lol but wrst thing in the world. is being told u got tickets for trey songz concert. yu get there and u dont really have tickets then in the process of goin to get them and havin your hopes up to see trey songz you get moleseted by two gorwn ass men…. while yur “bestfriends” say its perfectly fine as long as they got the dick first? i know it directly has nothing to do with you. but it was the worst day of my life.. how could you forgive someone for something like that? thats hard to do. like there are some diff. point of views and shoes you have to stand in before yu say someone should forgive,ik im gonna have to forgive eventaully but im just not ready for that rite now, but yeah…..
01.20.10 on 2:05 pmI agree with this Im in the same situation always geting hurt its like everytime i get in a relationship it never last i don’t want to talk to no other guy i think ill do good being by myself i don’t care how much a guy come up to me i don’t care if he looks good some people mess up at times by looking at the looks of the person and not the heart, but you know what? ima move on be strong and let god handle it im to good for this.
01.21.10 on 11:03 ami hate when people be tryna talk about somebody else and don’t have no room to talk thats why people shouldn’t talk about others becuz you’ll never no what they been through or going through and they may be the one helping u so this goes out to all the people out there who think they can just run over people n aint no better.
01.21.10 on 11:12 amThe thing is why would you won’t to hurt someone? Well, I can answer my own question. We like to hurt people to get people scared of us, or to let them know not to mess around with us. Even sometimes we like to hurt people because we get hurt all the time and we feel that, that person should hurt the same as we. The person you hurt yeah they are going to get mad and feel down or even cry, but that person will go high in life and know early how the world is and maybe how it will be later. Also when you hurt a person you can mess them up for life. That goal they were going to reach you just said something or did something to HURT there feelings, but if they know that can’t nobody stop them from doing what they won’t then everything is fine the only person that’s still down is yourself for even trying to stop that person! One day down the line while you were hurting people the cycle will come around to you and you will get hurt!
01.23.10 on 5:06 pm!Peace, B Still!”… I pray to the Father the Son and the Holy Spirit that he’ll bring you all peace and joy. Contentment is something which maybe of your short comin, and your discontentment may be causing you to doubt the power of God. Or it maybe causing you to have a lack of faith in the Lord’s ability 2 bring u up out of the things of the world that temps u 2 desire 2 persecute and humiliate whosoever your hearts despise.
(Peace B Still!) Within Discerning Perceptive all references of despaired hearts mentioned on this blog are covered. THE purpose of the CONTENT OF this BOOK reveals the pain and sufferings of the World and works to revive the spirit of those who maybe spiritually discerned by inspiring and instructing repentance and reconciliation.
“Peace B Still!” In case if You are use to reading religious books which maliciously use the Word of God to judge people, you may need to know that this book isn’t designed for that same purpose.
Peace B Unto u all who receives pleasure in rioting because of your overly excessive worldly fears, which deludes your minds to think, feel, or believe that if UR heart yields to do evil unto another for whatever the reason, your wrong is justified.
(”PEACE B STILL!”) u can’t fight the Good of faith by fighting evil with evil. Get real! With an understanding heart I dare not to judge anyone of you because God didn’t give me nor anyone else the power to Judge or to retain, possess, or confine another man’s conscience, but by the graceful and spiritual gifts of God. I’m not ignorant, because the Lord blessed me with heavenly knowledge so that I can righteously judge the acts and events of a person’s outlook on life 2 stand bold enough 2 say… “God is LOvE.”
I pray that God will bring peace unto all of you who Loves 2 hurt someone else for the sake thinking more highly of yourselves than u ought. Fighting evil with evil isn’t the way which leads your heart towards the way of peace and joy while in pursuit of happiness.)
(Peace B Still!) Without Love U-R DEAD! SO STOP HATING!
02.4.10 on 8:05 pm[...] said in a previous post, hurt and disappointment inflicted by others is an inevitable experience that we all must face at [...]
02.24.10 on 1:30 pmI love this website it really makes you analysis your actions in friendships as well as relationships. It makes you determine what type of person you are by your actions and the people around you. Trey Songs did a great job presenting this blog. Every day I am amazed what he brings to the table. Trey is wonderful. It great cause the focus is woman in general.
03.9.10 on 9:04 pmLife is a learning expierence and when we fail to learn from it, hurt is all that we feel.I was the kind of person who wouldn’t bother anybody .my feelings were ,I am not going to bother you but you better not bother me.I was on guard ,on the watch for people who might bother me.I went from that to ,you can bother me if you want to , because I am going to bother you .(not in a bad way) in a way that is fun and respectful. Life got easier and I had fun doing it.We all have to not let life get us down .I know people who fuss about the same things over and over again.These people are not happy at all and they make all who are around them just plain old miserable MOST OF THE TIME!
06.21.10 on 3:37 am